1.4.09

Don’t give Pappu a chance, saala



Bhaiyo aur beheno, I am the Pappu Raj of Bleed India Party. Today, I want to say the big thanks to you. Thanks to you for letting me have a party for 61 years. You are all great. Great Indians having the great dreams: Great dreams but jero action. Thanks for that. Because vote dene ke time pe aap desh ki dharti ko bhool jaate ho. You are saying ‘chalta hai’ and of course mera Raj chalta rahega. 61 years till date and thanks to you maybe one another 61? You are not knowing better so let us to make things worse only. No? Keep supporting Bleed India Party. Why vote on election day? Ghar pe baitho. A/c on karo. TV dekho. Then only the Pappu Raj will continue. Thanks to you.
I SWEAR :I swear that my name is Pappu Raj — on all my passports. I swear that I have the degree in Financial Engineering. I swear that I have not passed out of college but many times in it. Sho what? I swear I am BSc (Lon) — yes, from Lonavla. I swear that I have more chamchas than cutlery case. Also, more criminal records than filing cabinet at CBI. I swear that I live above the law — and under the table. I swear that if you don’t vote, I’ll be back.
PS:ADDENDUMB Pappu Raj is a fictitious neta. Any resemblance to characters currently on the scene is purely unintentional — and really quite sad. Voting, in case you still don’t know, is the process by which you can start to change things. Because if you don’t decide how you want to live , then someone like Pappu will decide for you; that’s right, a Pappu will decide whether you can hold hands in public or not, a Pappu will even dictate the kind of clothes you wear, what you watch on TV, how much tax you pay — and how you live your life!
MYSELF PAPPU ABOUT MYSELF My humble self Pappu. I come from a family of wannabe netas. My grandfather and father have contested for the post of PM many times. I have delivered over 500 speeches, including 12 in Inglis. Good at making dost-yaar, was awarded the best qaidi certificate and a special recommendation from the jailer. Currently, I am MP from Scamgaon.
QUALIFICATIONS SAB-MERI All my qualifications have been given to me under threat. Kindly overlook. BA, MA, PhD in Law. Worked very hardly for it, under the guidance of minister saab ke bete ke dost ke second floor wale padosi, who is in law. Total cost of acquiring degrees, 4 peti (contact number available, if needed)
NETA-GIRI HUI EXPERIENCE I am scam-proof. In 1978, I was involved in a phoren-maal scam. The committee set up to investigate is still trying to figure out who did it. I was also involved in bijli scam, babe scam, babu scam, and the latest one was the billu scam. I had promised the barbers association that I will give them money for all the hair they can collect for me, and then smuggled all the hair away when they were on a strike due to some SRK film. Hold a lifetime outon-bail membership card. I can simply punch in and walk out of jail. There are two dozen criminal cases pending against my proud self. All witnesses taken care of. All judges transferred within a fortnight. Captured 12 polling booths while interning with Desh Ki Waat Lagao party. I know the phone numbers of all the underworld dons. Ditto for every starlet in Bollywood. Bhai hoon, main Bhai! I have helped my party netas set up two schools — both of which are actually for all other purposes than educating children.
EMPLOYMENT SAD-STORY Desh Ki Waat Lagao party — two years. Moved to Satyanaash party when offered money. In 1978, I joined Jaane Bhi Do party. Do saal baad, went to Koi Kaam Nahi party. After I had the bypass surgery, I joined the Baithe Raho party. I worked hardly there, and result? Knee replacement. Now, I am with the Laite Raho party.
EXTRA-CURRICULAR ACTIVITIES Adept at Kursi ka khel, won many commendations, national level.
PERSONAL INFORMATION Name: Pappu Father’s name: Jaanta nahi baap kaun hai? Age: 55- 65, 65-75, 75 above (You can select the one you like) Martial Status: Married. 13 children. (Open to remarrying, change in religion, caste, etc no issue.)

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